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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534767">Phantom Cryptids</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyDragon/pseuds/ButterflyDragon'>ButterflyDragon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Phantom Cryptids [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, Elves, Kitsune, Possible Character Death, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:14:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyDragon/pseuds/ButterflyDragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Phantom Theives of Hearts were not good liars. </p><p>Akira was fairly certain his friends thought he hadn’t noticed their strange behaviour. He was equally certain they hadn’t noticed each other’s strange behaviour. Which, honestly, was far from out of character for most of them. </p><p>Or, ‘Akira is convinced his friends are supernatural. He’s probably right.’</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Phantom Cryptids [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693687</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ann was really tired of Ryuji’s dumb jokes.</p><p>Yes, it was a regular, monthly cycle that made her more agitated.</p><p>That didn’t mean she wouldn’t <em>stab him </em>if he made one more joke comparing lycanthropy to periods.</p><p>“Ok, but like, where would’ya get the knife from? The ones in your kitchen are blunt as shit!” Ryuji grinned,</p><p>“Oh, I’d be patient- next time we’re in Mementos, after you’ve <em>completely </em>forgotten this, I’d ask Joker to borrow one of his and Bamb! Revenge is sweet!”</p><p>“Yeah, but then I’d have, like, armour ‘n shit! And you may as well jus’ use your whip!”</p><p>Ann smirked, “Thank you for the idea!”</p><p>He gulped and laughed nervously. “Yeah, I’ll quit the jokin’. How long’s it ‘till we turn anyway?”</p><p>“Why would I know any more than you? It’s like… ten minutes or so?”</p><p>Ryuji laid back onto her bed with a bored groan, picking up his phone. From her angle on the floor, she couldn’t see what was on his screen, but she assumed it was some time-waster game like the one she had open.</p><p>She kicked his dangling leg gently, a reminder to get down when they transformed- she didn’t want her <em>own</em> fur up there, much less <em>his-</em> and turned back to cutting fruit in half. A few minutes and a high score later her phone started ringing, and she automatically went to answer it before remembering the time.</p><p>Caller ID read Akira, so it could be important- hadn’t Morgana normally sent him to bed by now? -but it would be a super short call…</p><p>If it was palace stuff it’d be in the groupchat right?</p><p>“Yo, is Akira calling you?” Ryuji called down, glancing between their phones.</p><p>They shared a glance- if they were both being called, it would be important. They’d just have to make it fast.</p><p>“Yo, Akira, what’s up?”</p><p>“Hey guys I didn’t wake you did I?” Akira replied,</p><p>“No, although I have to ask why you’re calling so late Ku- Akira-kun?” Makoto was awkwardly polite, still unused to the group, in a way Ann couldn’t help finding endearing,</p><p>“Sorry! A friend had to cancel plans last second, so now I’m free tomorrow to cover more of Kamoshida’s Palace- I know you all were, wanted to see if any of you are interested now I’m free or if you’d already made other plans!”</p><p>“Hm, well, I was just going to go through the student council requests box… honestly, I’m glad to delay that.”</p><p>“I am similarly unoccupied. I was merely going to spend the day looking for inspiration, but Kaneshiro’s palace has a fascinating aesthetic.”</p><p>Ann opened her mouth to reply, when an aching gnaw awakened deep in her gut. Ryuji flopped of her bed to the floor, half screaming that he was free tomorrow and slamming his hand on the ‘End Call’ button.</p><p>“Uh, yeah, no proble- ugh- m, see you all tomorrow!”</p><p>She slammed her phone shut as the gnawing feeling overtook her body, fur replacing skin, fangs replacing teeth, claws replacing nail, a tail and ears growing from nowhere.</p><p>That. Was close. Waay too close. Ryuji was doing an odd, raspy imitation of human laughter behind her, wrapped up in her quilt. She growled lightly- she’d have to wash that now! -and started to help untangle him.</p><p>How many times had she had to help Shiho out of some tangle? Countless. Her best friend was hyper and almost always lying on her bed when they slept over. Not anymore- Shiho was at her house, curled up and probably sleeping, and now it was just her and Ryuji.</p><p>A cold snout poked her, and a mischievously grinning Ryuji met her eyes, before dragging her into the duvet with a yelp as he darted past her onto her <em>off-limits </em>bed.</p><p>Ok, to be fair, the reason her bed was off limits was currently on the floor, in need of washing anyway. He sat their grinning with a wagging tail, daring her to chase him off.</p><p>So, she obliged. They could fix whatever they knocked over in the morning.</p><p>_-_-_</p><p>Makoto was Thirsty. She hadn’t been able to sneak away at break for a drink, and she daren’t drink in class- if the teacher (or her friends) decided they wanted to challenge the very-non-see-through bottle, she’d be in massive trouble. She would be fine; this was far from the longest she’d gone without blood.</p><p>Typically, she’d avoid the sun when thirsty, to reduce the blood expended keeping her alive, but by sheer dumb luck her class today the sun happened to be shining directly onto her seat. It was annoying but could be worse.</p><p>Still, she considered faking need for the bathroom when she caught herself staring at the neck of the student in front of her longingly.</p><p>Really, though, she could hold out until the end of the lesson at least. The Thirst wasn’t so distracting she couldn’t take notes, and this lesson was focusing in one of her weaker areas. And it was the last lesson of the day.</p><p>She counted down the minutes until she could leave this god-forsaken sun and drink, swiftly packing away her things when the lesson ended and hastily leaving the room… only to run straight into Akira. Morgana mewled from his bag as he caught her, both of them barely keeping their footing.</p><p>Now she was paying attention, she could see Ann and Ryuji were there too- right, they were continuing their infiltration of Futaba’s palace today.</p><p>“Woah, you in a hurry for somethin’?” Ryuji asked,</p><p>“Ah, yes, could you excuse me a moment? I was under the impression we’d be meeting at the ‘hideout’?”</p><p>“Ah, I was going to invite you to walk with us. Apologies Makoto, I didn’t realise you’d have something to do directly after class,” Akira had an odd smirk, the one he held whenever he had a joke and was refusing to share. Or when he wanted them to <em>think</em> he had something to say.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I would be happy to, just give me a moment. Perhaps we can meet at the gates?”</p><p>“Sure! We’ll see you there!” and with that Ann ran off, dragging the boys behind her,</p><p>“What’s Nijima-san hanging out with a bunch of second years for?”</p><p>“Maybe she’s keeping an eye on that criminal!”</p><p>“Or that Sakamoto guy, he’s definitely some kind of delinquent...”</p><p>Ignoring the rumouring crowds, Makoto darted to the bathroom and pulled out her metal flask, downing half of it in one gulp. After finishing the rest at a more sedate place, she screwed the lid shut and started heading to the gate, already planning for enemies in Futaba’s Palace.</p><p>-_-_-</p><p>Haru loved tending to her garden. The feeling of creating life, watching it bloom under her gentle guidance and grow into a beautiful garden… then collapse at her will at harvest.</p><p>Nothing could compare.</p><p>Not even the feeling of mixing certain herbs and saying a few odd words and delaying her engagement for another few months.</p><p>Still, time was running out, if they didn’t clear her father’s palace before he could go through with this attempt to marry her off, there would be nothing she could do without resorting to… <em>distasteful</em> measures. For all that Sugimura was a disgraceful Lech, Haru didn’t want to kill him.</p><p>But if they failed…</p><p>Well.</p><p>When Milady had seen her garden for the first the since Haru’s awakening, all she’d heard was a small approving laugh from the back of her mind.</p><p>_-_-_</p><p>Futaba was a sneaky fox, definitely sneakier than that art-nut Inari.</p><p>She was even sneaky enough to drop her human form mid-conversation without anyone noticing!</p><p>Ok, to be fair, she was inside her demon-UFO, and the conversation didn’t involve her- Joker was trying to Ash-Ketchum himself another Poké-demon. No-one could actually see her inside Necronomicon as she curled up in the pilot’s seat, half watching the negotiation, which seemed to be taking even longer than usual.</p><p>And she was sneaky enough Joker hadn’t managed to do the weird ‘cryptid-or-not?’ tests he thought she hadn’t noticed him giving everyone else- well, except Inari, but she doubted that even Inari knew about the weird magic-y magic around his soul. Which was distinct from their shared weird Persona-magic in the same way as butter and margarine, which was weird ‘cause the moony-wolf parts Ann and Ryuji’s souls were super different from the Carmen and Captain Kidd-y parts, and Makoto’s soul was just generally kinda faded and Haru’s just had vines on it which was <em>weird</em>-</p><p>Not that she’d tasted their souls- it was her key rule, no eating souls without consent. Souls were malleable enough that the little nibbles she needed made no difference- the soul would just give itself regen and be back to normal in a week tops- but eating people’s souls when they didn’t even know she <em>could </em>felt icky.</p><p>She’d been meaning to bring it up to the crew but… maybe tomorrow. After tomorrow. Next week?</p><p>…Meh, she’d wait ‘till Akira figured it out.</p><p>-_-_-</p><p>Akira knew his friends weren’t normal.</p><p>There was the obvious of course, they were the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, and there was no-one he’d rather have behind him. Even Haru, who he’d only recently met, was someone he’d trust with his life as they fought through her father’s palace.</p><p>But then there was the less obvious- Ryuji and Ann’s regular sleepovers and twitchiness around the full moon, Yusuke’s oblivious relaxation in parks and forests, Makoto’s hungry looks when shadows exploded into gore, Futaba’s sudden moments of radio silence when she was bored and… well, he was less confident about Haru, but her asshole Fiancé’s constant delayals were certainly suspicious.</p><p>He’d been curious at first- he’d always had a passing interest in the occult, which had helped greatly with not freaking out when summoning a demon in a fake castle- but, beyond confirming his suspicions, he was very content to wait for them to tell him the full truths.</p><p>Even the small deceptions he’d pulled to check made his stomach turn, these were his friends- his <em>confidants- </em>and he’d oh-so-casually tricked them out of their secrets. But he couldn’t stop himself mentally cataloguing every instance of odd behaviour, and he quickly realised that if he didn’t know one way or another soon, he would’ve driven himself mad.</p><p>He looked forward to the day his friends decided to trust him with this information, and he could drill them for information- because <em>holy crap werewolves and vampires were real that was so cool!</em></p><p>…also, because he was really tired of pretending to buy his friends terrible acting.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Maskless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, this chapter was almost done months ago. Keyword: almost. Then I realised that half of it was useless. </p><p>Next chapter should (touch wood) come out much faster- I know exactly what I'm doing, how I want to stylise it and roughly how long I want it to be.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The reveal didn’t happen like Akira’d have hoped. There was no simple confessions or building trust. Just a misstep.</p><p>They were in Okumura’s palace, he had planned to leave earlier than usual on account of the full moon Ann and Ryuji had been unable to excuse themselves from, but none of them had accounted for some freak accident in the real world that had made leaving the palace instantly fatal.</p><p>It nearly killed them all- and would have if Oracle hadn’t suddenly yelled from her perch in Prometheus as they were about to leave, warning of the danger. After a brief discussion and not-so-brief but silent panic from the blonde werewolves they decided to retreat to a safe room and try and come up with alternate ideas to escape, if waiting it out proved insufficient.</p><p>Futaba had managed to hack the safe room enough for their phones to work, and alibis had been established. As far as any adults were concerned, they were studying at Ann’s and would be overnight, an excuse neither blonde seemed to notice the flaw in, and Akira couldn’t find a way to point out.</p><p>Still, the much more pressing issue was that they couldn’t <em>leave. </em>And none of them had a better idea than having Futaba monitor it carefully and bunkering down in the safe room until they could leave. Which was not a calming solution.</p><p>Ann was pacing the small room, her leather tail lashing behind her. Ryuji was doing push-ups in the centre of the room, barely noticing the added weight of Morgana and Akira (he made a surprisingly good bench, as it turned out, despite the constant movement).</p><p>But they weren’t the only ones. Futaba was scanning frantically and Makoto was drilling holes into the floor with her eyes, deep in thought. Haru and Yusuke seemed the only ones completely calm, the two of them were intently inspecting a potted plant that was flickering in and out of existence- the safe room appeared to be an employee break room, from what they could see. He couldn’t hear what they were saying from his perch on Skull’s back, but they seemed to be trying to decipher the level of reality to the plant, which... he’d leave them to it.</p><p>Ann broke the tense silence with a sharp gasp as she stopped her increasingly frantic pacing to freeze in the middle of the room, worrying her lip. Beneath him, Akira felt Ryuji stop mid push-up and quickly stood up, grabbing Mona’s scarf as he went.</p><p>Both blondes were unnervingly still and breathing raggedly, as though in pain, and panic was clear in their eyes. Akira wasn’t the only one to notice of course, the whole room had turned towards them and Makoto had gone to support the swaying Ann while Futaba started scanning with a renewed ferocity.</p><p>“Are you two alright?! What’s wrong?!” Makoto frantically asked, eyes darting between Ann and Ryuji,</p><p>“Just fine! Nothing wrong here, no-sir-AGH-ee!”</p><p>“A-Ann…”</p><p>A silent exchange occurred, ending with a heavy sigh from Ann as she stared resolutely up, meeting the rooms concerned stares.</p><p>“It’s the full moon, we’re werewolves, save your questions for the f-uuuuucking morning. Please turn around.”</p><p>Without another word, Ann collapsed in the middle of the room. Akira did as requested, staring intently at the wall until he felt… something wet?</p><p>He turned around, and found a fluffy blonde wolf nuzzling his hand. Without thinking, he started stroking the dog- given that the other wolf was smaller, presumably this one was Ryuji- and sat on the floor, which Ryuji took as an invitation to reverse their earlier positions.</p><p>Ann stared at them both like they’d gone mad. So did the rest of the room, but the expression was funniest on the small wolf.</p><p>“So, just to clarify, you two are being interrogated to hell and back in the morning.”</p><p>Ryuji huffed good naturedly, while Ann rolled her eyes.</p><p>This broke the tension of the room, as Futaba nervously glanced between Ann and Ryuji, opening and closing her mouth a few times before hesitantly asking, “h-hey Ann, can I pet you? Y-you look so fluffy…”</p><p>Ann grinned, and gently butted Futaba’s hand with her nose, prompting Futaba to instantly hug the fluffy wolf. Akira chuckled slightly. Hadn’t she done something similar to Morgana a few times?</p><p>Yusuke seemed to be trying to paint both blondes, despite the lack of any supplies greater than his sketchbook, and Haru, now lacking a conversation partner, had started sharpening her axe.</p><p>Makoto, however had backed away and now stood in the corner, eyes closed and breathing heavily.</p><p>Frowning in concern, Akira approached her.</p><p>“You ok, Queen?”</p><p>She jumped, staring at him with wide, frantic eyes before taking a deep breath and wincing, regaining her composure. “Y-yes. I am fine. Merely… distracted.”</p><p>Shit. He recognised the look in her eyes- the way they were tinged even redder around the edges. The little fangs she was awkwardly trying to hide without drawing attention to. It made sense- they’d planned to be here at most an hour, but they’d already been stuck for four times that. And the extent of Makoto’s secret keeping seemed to boil down to not drinking blood when they were around. Would she even have any on her?</p><p>He was the leader. How did he help his team?</p><p>…he could only see one solution.</p><p>“Hey guys, team meeting real quick!” he whirled around clapping his hands and the group habitually had gathered around the central table all safe rooms- thankfully- had before he even finished speaking.</p><p>“So, as has been demonstrated, we aren’t the most honest of thieves!” He grinned with a confidence he didn’t have, as Ann and Ryuji sheepishly looked away, “But, we don’t seem to have noticed two things! First, you’re <em>all </em>keeping similar secrets! Second, you’re all god-awful liars! Finally, those facts combined have been driving me nuts for months- and <em>yes </em>Oracle, this <em>does </em>include you!”</p><p>Oracle yelped, jumping in surprise and overbalancing, before popping back up with a glare directed at Joker and the lightly grinning Fox.</p><p>He quickly scanned the other’s reactions. Yusuke seemed curious and mildly concerned- he really hadn’t noticed the weirdness surrounding him then- while Haru was chuckling awkwardly. Futaba seemed annoyed but not all too surprised while both wolves, while harder to read, seemed shocked. Makoto, on the other hand, was scowling the way she did when analysing a particularly hard to read shadow.</p><p>“Of course, no pressure or anything.” Akira smiled, in a way he hoped was reassuring, “Just, y’know, don’t be afraid to ask for help. And it could be a neat team-building exercise?”</p><p>Makoto frowned slightly as the table dropped into an uncomfortable silence. She sighed heavily, before pulling a hip flask from a pocket in her outfit and downing the contents without stopping for breath.</p><p>“Right. I suppose you two could smell that?” she asked, looking to the two wolves.</p><p>Ann nodded, slightly wide-eyed, while Ryuji looked vaguely queasy.</p><p>“Alright. Yes, it is exactly what you think it is. It’s…” she trailed of, taking a deep breath. “It’s blood. I’m a… vampire.”</p><p>Ann reassuringly nuzzled her palm, and Makoto relaxed slightly and began gently petting her.</p><p>“so, um, who’s next?”</p><p>Makoto glanced back up, “that’s… it?”</p><p>“Well, it hardly seems fair to interrogate you when the blonds can’t speak,”</p><p>Makoto smiled, and shook her head fondly, “Your certainly an odd one, Joker.”</p><p>“Why thank you!” Akira smirked, “I’d volunteer to go next, but all I have to talk about is my middle-school Occult phase never going away- So, anyone wanna?”</p><p>Futaba shuffled slightly, opening and closing her mouth a few times before turning away from the table, fiddling with her phone.</p><p>“I must confess leader, I genuinely have no idea what you’re speaking of?” Yusuke said, his head tilted in confusion.</p><p>Futaba perked up, “Makes sense Inari- your just kinda… vaguely magic-y. Not really specific, kinda, not really. Bleh- I can’t explain it properly,”</p><p>“Oh? Would sharing yourself perchance help?”</p><p>Futaba froze, blinking repeatedly. Then, in a flash of light, she was replaced with a small fox with a shit-eating grin. Before anyone could speak, she hopped down from her perch and ran to curl up on Makoto’s knee, nudging her hand. Makoto just gave a bemused smile and gently started to pet the smugly grinning fox.</p><p>Ann barked indignantly and bounded over from where she had been sat beside Futaba to also demand scratches. Slightly bemused, Akira leaned forward to whisper into Ryuji’s ear,</p><p>“So, is that a wolf thing or is Ann just being clingy…?”</p><p>Ryuji gave an amused ‘whoof’, his tail wagging. Ann turned briefly to glare but was quickly distracted by Makoto.</p><p>Haru gently cleared her throat and- how long had she had that book? She raised it slightly, “I’ve just been dabbling slightly in magic- Furaderliche has been a great mentor!”</p><p>Makoto stared, jaw slack. “D-did you just say <em>Furaderlich?”</em></p><p>“Bigger question- how did you say Furrald- furyald- <em>that.” </em>Jokers comment was, thankfully, ignored.</p><p>“Ah, you’ve met him! I normally just call him Fred but, well, he insisted I use his full name to introduce him!” Haru giggled lightly, “Given the look on your face, I think I know why!”</p><p>Makoto stared in stunned silence a moment longer, before sighing and resting her face in her palms (much to Ann and Futaba’s annoyance) “An Eldritch Tome… I’m not even surprised you somehow found an <em>Eldritch Tome…”</em></p><p>That sounded like a whole lot of stories to ask about- but for now… Futaba did something he couldn’t quite see from his angle, prompting Ann to chase her around the room, while Makoto quietly chuckled. Yusuke shuffled next to Haru and began sketching something from a page as Haru explained whatever it was. Ryuji got a massive grin and began chasing Mona around the room- much to Mona’s loud complaints.</p><p>His questions could wait for the morning. For now… he should probably intercede his best friends chasing each other around the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The final chapter- and my first finished fic!</p><p>Of course, that doesn't mean this is the end. I've mentioned before I might do something for Sumi and- well, I am! Keep a lookout for that, I haven't decided on a title yet but it's going to combine 3 ideas I don't think I could make a good, completed au out of separately, but together? It's go time!</p><p>One of those is this very au! …there's a greater than 0% chance it will be called Phantom Cryptids the Royal, unless I can think of literally anything more creative! But yeah, it'll be this au, from the perspective of Sumi and with a dash more of everybody's favourite Pancake Detective. Who, by the way, was a joy to wright but may be slightly over the top as a result.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akechi, despite what his bastard of a father no doubt believed, was a damn good detective. Not just a good fighter in the metaverse, he was a <em>detective. </em>It took more than fortune and access to that world to solve a murder after all, even if walking into his victim’s hearts was doubtlessly his greatest trick. So, when he met Akira Kurusu, he knew instantly there was more to this curly-haired boy than met the eye. And indeed, he found his greatest enemy, his ‘heroic’ mirror image, the damned saviour to his praised madman. Really it was poetic, his greatest nemesis- a man with just as much reason to hate his father but clinging to foolish ideals and determined to fight for such a contemptable goal as ‘justice’?</p><p>It really wasn’t a surprise that the rest of the Phantom Thieves slipped his minds. Nijima-san’s younger sister was an easy angle to take to infiltrate the Phantom Theives, especially as it gave him  chance to take her off the board while he was at it, but the girl herself hadn’t struck him as anything special.</p><p>And if she seriously wanted to delay his plans to go on a <em>moonlit date </em>of all things, he would kill her as soon as he was done with Joker.</p><p>“I’m truly sorry, we both misjudged the length of Sis’ Palace and, well, we’ve been planning this for months…”</p><p>He sighed, gently, careful not to let the depths of his frustration show. His princely persona (heh) could be as much a burden as a boon in times like this, “I suppose there’s nothing you can do… we still have plenty of time left regardless.”</p><p>“Ah, thank you for your understanding, Akechi-kun.”</p><p>The sappy smile on Takamaki’s face got her added her to the list. Really, this date apparently mattered so much to her and yet she sat back and let her goody little girlfriend defend it for her? Pathetic.</p><p>“Heyo, if we can’t go tomorrow, we should get as far as we can today! Let’s get in there and wreak some havoc!”</p><p>…should he put Ryuji before or after Ann? His loudness was obnoxious, but he truly hated weakness… maybe he could kill both blondes at the same time?</p><p>-(=)-</p><p>Makoto seemed slower than usual today, her eyes were ringed red, presumably from lack of sleep. Her usually hyper-sharp reflexes were sluggish and she slouched, exhausted, after each fight, breathing heavily as the shadows exploded into gore. Ann was, predictably, constantly beside her, making sure she was ok and offering her water, which she turned down despite Ann’s pout.</p><p>“Excuse me, Crow, could I perchance hold your attention momentarily?”</p><p>And now the artistic weirdo was talking to him. Wonderful. Why did Joker surround himself with such mediocrities? “Ah, what is it Fox?”</p><p>“I was wondering if you would consider modelling for me? I wish to draw a portrait with contrasting figures, and our leader has already agreed to model for one- and who better to be cast across from a noble thief than his morally inverse friend and ally?” Fox had a small smirk, as he continued, “Of course, it will be abstract enough so as to not merely ride the coattails of your popularity- I was considering emphasising the more outlandish elements of your outfit for the portrait?”</p><p>Hm. Perhaps he wasn’t useless. He had noticed that the only one in this group who could possibly match Joker. “That sounds enjoyable. I must confess, for all the, um, ‘fanart’ of myself online, I’ve never posed for a portrait- it should be a worthwhile experience for both of us.”</p><p>“Indeed.”</p><p>His thoughts of Makoto completely slipped his mind as he planned his meeting with the young artist.</p><p>-(=)-</p><p>Somehow, his favourite jumper had been in contact with poison ivy. He had not been anywhere near poison ivy. He didn’t know if there even was poison ivy in Tokyo. He wasn’t even certain if the plant grew in Japan at all. He wouldn’t even have recognised his sudden rash as being caused by poison ivy if Haru didn’t notice it and instantly start mother-henning him, offering him some aloe vera cream she had on her for… some reason. At this point he’d simply stopped asking, her tiny eccentricities barely registering to him anymore.</p><p>She mumbled something about a severe reaction under her breath- another odd habit he’d noticed- as she applied the cream to the ugly, itchy rash down his neck.</p><p>He could’ve handled this himself. He was only letting her help to gain her trust. He definitely didn’t, for one startling moment remember his mother doing something similar for him as a child.</p><p>Joker shouldn’t surround himself with such weakness- that was all the Phantom Theives were, weakness and baggage, dragging Joker down when he could shine as a rival even to him. Not a successful one, but a rival nonetheless.</p><p>“Let me take that Haru- Makoto wanted you for something, wouldn’t tell me what?” speaking of the man himself. Joker approached and took over Haru’s careful ministrations with a practiced ease. Haru nodded thankfully to Joker and headed in the direction he’d indicated.</p><p>“Well, this is embarrassing.” Akechi laughed softly as Joker gently rubbed the cream into his neck. “I must confess, even I’m quite bemused how I found myself in this predicament.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Joker said with a smirk, and that ridiculous, insolent glint in his eyes, “It’s probably something weird with hopping in peoples heads all the time- y’know, some American tourist added this stuff down there?” he paused for a moment, tilting his head. “it’s not native, by the way. You’d be having a more severe reaction if it was the local equivalent.”</p><p>“Ah, right, if I recall correctly you’ve worked in a flower store, correct?”</p><p>“Yup. Learning flower language was pretty fun- it kinda became a hobby.”</p><p>Akechi laughed, again, “You never run out of party tricks, do you Akira?”</p><p>“Nope. I’m a man of <em>mystery!” </em>he replied, with a remarkably straight face before snorting and cracking a smirk. “Anyway, I’m done. Are you sure you can handle the Palace? Poison ivy rashes aren’t anything life threatening, but they can be a real pain…”</p><p>“I’ll be fine,” He said, most definitely not getting a warm feeling in his chest at Joker’s concern, “The irritation seems all but gone already- remind me to thank Haru?”</p><p>Joker gave an… odd laugh, before replying, “If you’re sure…”</p><p>-(=)-</p><p>Oracle had been unnervingly quiet for the past few minutes. But, well, the others had known her longer than he, and none of them showed the slightest concern- in fact their only acknowledgement of the now-silent ‘buffs’ was the occasional glare from Queen or sigh from Joker aimed at Prometheus, so it seemed a safe assumption that this was a semi-regular occurrence.</p><p>By the same logic Prometheus taking a hit wasn’t.</p><p>As soon as the missed attack contacted the floating orb, Futaba fell in an orange blur, landing behind some game’s cabinets. Instantly Joker barked the order for Queen to take the lead as he raced over to where their navigator had fallen, Skull and Mona, who had both been in the rear-guard, fast on his heels. Seamlessly she took over and, with a renewed viciousness, they made short work of the group of shadows.</p><p>Still, when they turned back to where Futaba had gone down, Skull was nowhere to be seen and Joker was restlessly playing with his knife- spinning it around his finger and tossing it from hand to hand.</p><p>“Skull’s taking Oracle out on ahead- she’s out cold, and even with how this world can be- I’m not taking any risks, we’re getting a back-alley doc I know to check her over.”</p><p>Understandable he supposed- she was a non-combatant, and that had been quite the nasty fall. That still didn’t help his impatience, or the odd restlessness he couldn’t name, but he could see why.</p><p>Still… “Ah, would it not be safer to check her into a normal hospital? I assure you, I can stop any questions,”</p><p>Joker looked momentarily <em>surprised </em>at the idea, before laughing. “Nah. Tae’s better than any of them. She’s the one Futaba goes to anyway.”</p><p>“Ah, I suppose that makes sense. Please, inform me of her recovery tomorrow?” he asked, definitely for the sake of maintaining his caring demeanour.</p><p>Joker had an odd smile, not like his usual confident or teasing smirks. “Yeah, of course. We might not be able to come her for a few days, but I’ll keep you updated on Futaba.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>-(=)-</p><p>As the various rabid shadows surrounding him faded away alongside his wretched double, Crow sunk to the ground, hand clutched over the biggest of the gaping wounds on his side and leaving a smear of blood on the wall of the ship. His breaths were laboured and rasping, and the world sawm before him.</p><p>Two voices warred within his mind. One loud and brash and <em>stupid </em>and the other cackling madly between every word. Robin Hood and Loki. As he gradually bled out, they bickered back and forth. Loki taunted him, alternating between laughing at his foolishness and fits of screaming- they were so fucking close! And Joker came and ruined it all! He couldn’t have <em>lost </em>to such a <em>weak, pathetic, <strong>idiot!!</strong></em></p><p>
  <em>Calm yourself, companion. Our other self has not much time left, and you would chastise his closest enemy? For shame.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>Sil</strong>e<strong>n</strong>ce <strong>you</strong>r<strong>s</strong>e<strong>lf</strong>,<strong> y</strong>o<strong>u</strong> us<strong>ele</strong>ss <strong>fake!</strong></em>
</p><p>Crow swore he heard a scoff in his mind, as Robin Hood replied, <em>which of us are truly the fake, as we lie in a pool of our own blood as penance for your bad decisions, oh wild god?</em></p><p>
  <em>S<strong>hu</strong>t <strong>th</strong>e <strong>fuck</strong> <strong>u</strong>p y<strong>o</strong>u <strong>mot</strong>h<strong>e</strong>r<strong>f</strong>u<strong>ck</strong>in<strong>g</strong> pi<strong>ec</strong>e o<strong>f</strong> se<strong>lf</strong>-<strong>rig</strong>h<strong>te</strong>ou<strong>s</strong> <strong>shi-</strong></em>
</p><p>“Both of you, shut the hell up!” he hissed, clawing at the metal wall behind him. “Im the only godamn real one! You’re both fucking mirrors!”</p><p>
  <em>Oh?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>W<strong>el</strong>l l<strong>it</strong>tl<strong>e r</strong>ab<strong>bit</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Which way through the looking glass?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>S<strong>h</strong>al<strong>l</strong> w<strong>e</strong> f<strong>ina</strong>ll<strong>y</strong> c<strong>u</strong>t lo<strong>se</strong> th<strong>is</strong> <strong>false</strong> pe<strong>rso</strong>na!<strong>?</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or will you take your blade for Justice once more?</em>
</p><p>“…I’m dead anyway. Why the hell does it matter which of you- which version of <em>me </em>I remind you- wins your damn pissing contest?”</p><p>
  <em>It matters a fair bit, detective.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A<strong>re</strong> y<strong>o</strong>u <strong>m</strong>o<strong>re trickster</strong> o<strong>r</strong> prince?</em>
</p><p>Akechi didn’t speak. They knew his answer. He grabbed at the wall, claws rending the thick steel as he dragged himself to his shaking feet. He fell forward a step. Then another. The voices in his head both faded away, leaving only him; a shambling boy so desperate for approval he’d killed for it. And now, he’d die for it.</p><p>Still a new voice took their place- a voice that echoed with a name as familiar as his own. <strong>Hereward</strong>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, this is literally just me laughing to myself at random thoughts of various character in this game as being vampires and such, then thinking in the middle of the night once 'whats better than one supernatural entity? EVERY supernatural entity!'</p><p>I have vague ideas for Kasumi too, but that'll be a separate story if I get around to writing it.</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514840">Drained</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeen_meteor/pseuds/yeen_meteor">yeen_meteor</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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